147. Group Coaching May 3rd - Part 2

Welcome to another SociEATy group coaching call! During these 45 minute calls as many of your submitted questions will be answered as possible. All questions will come from the group coaching call question submission form that is linked in the coaching + events tab of the The SociEATy membership site. If your question is not able to be answered or if you’d like more individualized support please put your name on the waitlist for 1:1 coaching! The SociEATy 1:1 Coaching ➡️ https://nofoodrules.co/1_1coaching 00:06 - I saw my new primary care provider on Friday, and ended up leaving the office in tears. An iIE dietician recommended her as a provider who believed in the philosophy of health at every size, which is why I selected her. The provider then said something like it doesn't hurt to lose weight. There's another provider in the same office who I used to see, and I liked everything about her except the fact that almost every time she saw me, she said, "You need to lose weight". I've thought about going back to her, because I liked her otherwise. Even my specialists blame everything on my weight, and I'm sure I'll have to get weighed soon for a pre-op physical for a colonoscopy, which is causing me great anxiety. Any other advice? (I've been to IE dieticians for several years, but am starting from the beginning in Stage 1.) 06:00 - I have been involved with the Socieaty for six months now and have progressed to Stage 4. I believe I need to go back to Stage 3 and refocus on refueiling. While I consistently eat I do not adequately fuel my body due to ongoing mental restrictions. I am working with a dietician in additon to my Socieaty involvement. The dietician does have an IE focus and actually follows the Socieaty so we very much have the same mindset with respect to eating and food. My question - how can I best utilize dietician services knowing I have to focus on adequately fueling my body to gain a healthy weight (defintely underweight)? Thank you for your advice. 09:30 - I have always heard, that sometimes hunger cues are actually thirst cues. Is this a diet culture thing? Or is there truth to this? (i.e. you need to drink a glass of water before meals). 12:07 - Looking for advice. I work in healthcare. Some days I do not have a break between patients to have a snack. On these days, by the time I can eat my lunch, I am a STARVING and tend to eat really fast. I of course then have a stomachache. Any advice for things to try in this situation? 14:17 - .Is it a bad thing to make a choice of not eating the bread on my cheesy smash burger after I eat half and I’m feeling like it’s filling me up and I want to eat the meat. I’m not doing it to avoid the carbs but rather make more room for the good stuff. Part 2 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Where's the record? 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:06.000 Okay. So the doctor's office dilemma. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:24.000 So this question says, I saw my new primary care provider on Friday, and ended up leaving the office in tears and intuitive eating Dietitian recommended her as a provider who believed in the philosophy of health at every size, which is why I selected her the provider then said something 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:38.000 like it doesn't hurt to lose weight. There's another provider in the same office who I used to see, and I liked everything about her except the fact that almost every time she saw me she said, you need to lose weight. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:42.000 I've thought about going back to her because I liked her otherwise. 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:52.000 Even my specialist blames everything on my weight, and I'm sure I'll have to be weighed soon for a pre-up physical for a colonoscopy which is causing me great anxiety. 00:00:52.000 --> 00:01:04.000 Any other advice I've spent to other intuitive meaning dietitians for several years but I'm starting from the beginning in stage One. 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:13.000 So for this question, I think that what I would do is recommendations. 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:38.000 We should be able to count on them. But the reality is, we can't always so, even if someone recommends just for future reference, someone recommends someone I would recommend actually calling the office and kind of like confirming that because what one person might feel is help at every size aligned another person might not 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:44.000 so that's just one, not that this isn't going to fix us moving forward, but just for anyone I think that that could be a really great reminder of that. 00:01:44.000 --> 00:02:05.000 So that would be my first recommendation. With that I. This just shows how deep-rooted that phobia is, and how so much of a weight bias there is, and our health care is catching up. 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:19.000 But it does have a long way to go, so what I would recommend for this is, I would say, if you really liked your previous provider, and you said you need to lose weight. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:28.000 What I would do is I would call the office and see if you can't speak to her and say, Are you willing to work with me in a way neutral way? 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:39.000 I am, you know, doing this program. I'm working on intuitive eating, and we have so many resources that you can share from the society specifically in stage. 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:45.000 I think it's stage one video one, we have a download that's called diets. 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:49.000 Don't work, and there's so much recent research attached that you could literally show them to that. 00:02:49.000 --> 00:03:04.000 Show them that. But I think that might be a good solution, and asking if you really like this person, because I do think that a lot to be said about being able to connect with your healthcare provider. 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:05.000 So if you have a really good connection with them, it might be worth asking them. 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:11.000 Can you work with me in this way? Neutral way? 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:14.000 I really like the connection that we have, and I would love to do it. 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:16.000 But with my background of disordered eating focusing on weight, isn't going to do me more harm than good. 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:27.000 I'm more, if you are more than willing to work on health promoting behaviors. 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:31.000 I always think that is a nice thing, so it doesn't come across. 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:37.000 I'm not gonna listen to anything you say like, I want to know, like what behaviors I can work on. 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:42.000 But again, I want the focus to not be weight. So I think that could be a really great way to kind of do that. 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:48.000 So I would see if that could be the case. And then this question also says they do. 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:52.000 Blame everything on weight, because that's what we've done for so long. 00:03:52.000 --> 00:04:06.000 Like, I said. I do think that the times are changing, but it's going to take some time, for the you know, whole world essentially to catch up to that. 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:07.000 I'm still happy to wait soon for Pre app for Microsoft. 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:11.000 I would ask. I would call the office. This is my recommendation. 00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:28.000 Say, call the office and tell them your history with disordered eating, and say, I'm really working on this, I understand for something like anesthesia or anything like that. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:35.000 It may need. We may need a wait sometimes. Those are weight-based medications that we don't based off of. 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:40.000 But I think asking, I really do not want to see this number. 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:46.000 I'm okay with you taking it. But I again don't want this to be relayed to me. 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:47.000 So asking like, Does it need to go in like my patient profile and just kind of asking those things? 00:04:47.000 --> 00:05:01.000 Again to work with you, I think, could be a really great thing, and I know that this question had also said that you're not necessarily the most assertive person. 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:11.000 I think also, it's a really good idea to send any of these requests, or asks about your healthcare provider through an electronic portal that way. 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:20.000 It's also documented right that you have like. I asked for this, and they did not oblige, or they just disregarded it. So. 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:33.000 And I think that can also be helpful for someone who may not be as outgoing, or assertive or confident in, you know, talking about these topics, because then you can, I mean craft a response. 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:37.000 You can say exactly what you want to say, so I think that could be could be really helpful in that instance. 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:43.000 But this is also something that again, the healthcare world has a lot of catching up to do. 00:05:43.000 --> 00:06:00.000 So that would be my advice. I would see if your current healthcare provider could work with you in that way. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:06.000 Okay, this question says, I've been involved in the society for 6 months now and have progressed to stage 4 congrats. 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:12.000 I believe I need to go back to Stage 3 and refocus on refueling, while I consistently eat. 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:24.000 I do not addequately fuel my body due to ongoing mental restrictions I'm working with a dietician in addition to my society involvement, the Dietitian does have an institute eating focus and actually follows a society. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:29.000 So we very much have the same mindset with respect to eating and food. 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:33.000 My question is, how do I best utilize Dietitian services? 00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:37.000 Knowing, I have to focus on adequately fueling my body to gain a healthy weight. 00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:49.000 I'm definitely underweight. So my, I think the best way to approach one-on-one counseling is to meet with Nicole, so she is a dietician in the society that way. 00:06:49.000 --> 00:07:07.000 You know, everyone on your team is on the same page. Now, if you need one, on one medical support, for you know eating disorder complications, that might be another story where you may need to go to your doctor in a local dietitian but I think that the best way. 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:23.000 And we this is a newer offer that we have. So if you go to the coaching tab in the membership, you're going to see it right there and you can sign up for some times with Nicole, I think that would that is really the best way, and a Nicole can work with you 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:31.000 on any sort of things that you're struggling, whether it's over eating under eating, she is trained in all of the things you guys know her in the Facebook group. 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:38.000 She's fabulous that does that mean you have to see Nicole, if you love your dietition, you could absolutely continue. 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:45.000 It does make it a little bit more difficult, because there may be different advice that you're getting, even though we have kind of like the same general mindset. 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:50.000 But don't forget that listening to your body means also listening to your brain. 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:58.000 So, if you know that you are saying I'm not properly feeling my body. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:20.000 I'm not eating enough. Then we want to eat more right listening to our body also includes listening to our brain, and that is just just something to to remember, because this is so important, because when we get to the stage of actually breaking our food we're also stage, 4 if we are under nurse this is exactly 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:27.000 what happened to me guys. And it's exactly why I work in the way that I do with the society in these specific orders. Think about it. 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:33.000 If you are not getting what your body needs. When you go to break your food rules, let's for me. 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:34.000 It was eating chocolate cake, I told myself. 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:37.000 I'm Mill let myself eat this chocolate cake. 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:40.000 Of course, my body was gonna go overboard because it needed more energy. 00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:46.000 If we are still in a place where we're not adequately fueled, we're try to go and break our food rules. 00:08:46.000 --> 00:09:03.000 Of course our bodies are going to want to get all of that, and a lot of times those food Rolf foods are high sugar, high calorie, high fat, and our brain when we are underfed is also going to look at those things like that is a really efficient way for me to refuel this body. 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:10.000 So I want a lot of it. And I want a lot fast, because, like I said, it sees it as efficient. 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:14.000 Because sugar is quick energy. Fat is higher calorie, so it's efficient. 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:18.000 Your body's actually working to save you. It's working to your benefit. 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:30.000 But it feels that out of control. So to lessen that, it's important to make sure that we're eating enough to begin with. 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:31.000 Alright. I've always heard that some hunger cues are actually thirst cues, oops. 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:41.000 My goodness, is this a diet culture thing, or is there truth to it? 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:42.000 So I it's not necessarily that our bodies misinterpret them. 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:53.000 It can be the case when you are not in tune with your hunger queues. 00:09:53.000 --> 00:10:00.000 You don't understand the difference, the more that you start to practice this and listen to your body, the more that you'll know. 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:11.000 So if you're in this place where you do not need to necessarily drink a glass of water before meals that can actually kind of hinder your ability to listen to your body, because your essentially let's think about it. 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:25.000 You're putting a bunch of non caloric volume in your stomach that's going to throw off your hunger and fulness cues cuz one of our fullness cues is the stretch receptors in our stomach so yes, how full it is but that's not 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:36.000 our only fullness cue if we just put a bunch of non caloric stuff into our stomach, then our body is essentially going to think, oh, okay, it at first thinks it's full. 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:43.000 But then it's going to be like oh, that will't actually what I needed. 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:48.000 Okay. So now I'm going to give you even stronger cues, because now I need that even more. Right? 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:54.000 So it's not necessarily that our bodies mistake hunger and fullness cues, but it can be that we just don't are super great at identifying the different ones. 00:10:54.000 --> 00:11:00.000 If you're not sure what you could do. One thing I like to do is kind of like, think back. 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:08.000 It's like, Okay, when is the last time that I eat? 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:22.000 Is this an actual hunger? Queue if you're not sure you could drink a glass of water and just say, and also think like hot when's the last time that I drink some water, if you're saying I've been drinking water, pretty steadily throughout the day, it's 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:24.000 probably going to be an actual hunger queue, right? 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:27.000 But if you're like, you know what I haven't had much water. 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:33.000 And this actually happened to me. Yesterday morning I finished my breakfast and I was like, I just kind of feel like I want something else. 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:36.000 And I thought about it. I was like no, that meal was pretty filling. 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:38.000 I don't feel like this is a hunger cue. 00:11:38.000 --> 00:11:42.000 I thought about it, and I was like, you know, I have not had any water today. 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:46.000 So I knew that was probably what I needed. So I had some of that. 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:58.000 So just kind of experiment a little bit with it, but the more that you focus on these things, the more that you practice, the more in tune that you will get with it. 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:07.000 Okay, over here. Okay, this question, we have 2 more questions here, says, I have no time to eat looking for advice. 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:08.000 I work in health care some days I do not have a break between patients. 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:13.000 Have a snack, I'm these days. By the time I can eat my lunch I'm stving and tend to eat really fast. 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:19.000 I, of course, then, have a stomachache. Any advice on insight for the solution? 00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:27.000 I have a couple tips, so one of them is, gonna be more short-term based. 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:30.000 And one of them is, gonna be more long-term base. 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:42.000 So the first thing that I would say here is that thinking through when you know you're gonna have a busy day, what can you do to your breakfast to make it the most filling? 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:55.000 This might include eating past fullness to make sure you have enough energy to get you to lunch, if it might also mean making using a little gentle nutrition to make sure there's fibre to make sure there's facts make sure there's protein in there that's going 00:12:55.000 --> 00:13:06.000 to fuel you. That's kind of the short term thing, but the reality is, humans cannot function optimally without their needs. 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:13.000 Met like we talked about in the beginning of this call. We have to have our needs met. 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:21.000 So this is actually something I would bring to your supervisor or your place of work in telling them. 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:26.000 I need like 5 or 10 min between patients to get a break. 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:35.000 They legally should have to in most cases obliged to that, like you are a human being that needs these brakes, even if it's just like 5 min to grab a protein bar, it might not be the most enjoyable leisurely meal. 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:48.000 You should be able to have some sort of a pause to get what you mean, so I don't highly highly recommend. 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:49.000 We're all going to have these instances where we are just rushed, and we have to. 00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:57.000 Wait. This happens right? Sometimes this is unavoidable, but if it is something that is happening for the long term, I would like, I said, highly recommend, okay, this is not sustainable. 00:13:57.000 --> 00:14:09.000 From like a body needs standpoint or a pleasurable standpoint. 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:13.000 So bringing that up with them could be super helpful, alright. 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:17.000 Our last question for today says, if I What if I skip the button so? 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:21.000 Is it bad to make a choice of not eating the bread on my cheesy smash? 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:26.000 Burger, after I eat half, and I'm feeling like it's filling me up, and I want to eat the meat. 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:27.000 I'm not doing it to avoid the carbs, but rather make room for the good stuff. 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:34.000 In my opinion. No, this is not a bad thing. Again, given the facts that you're choosing what you want right? 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:43.000 The reality is sometimes we only have so much space right in our stomachs, so I don't think this is a bad thing at all. 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:50.000 And again. The key is, I'm not doing it to avoid the carbs, just making sure that's the case. 00:14:50.000 --> 00:15:01.000 This could also be like someone who maybe not that you have to save up for dessert, but for me, like when I go out. 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:09.000 If I, if I know we have a desert that I want, and I want that more. 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:17.000 I might not necessarily intentionally eat less at dinner but knowing okay, I don't prefer to eat. That's right. 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:20.000 It's okay to ask yourself, What do I want? What do I enjoy? 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:26.000 Is long as it's a you driven decision. There is no right wrong, bad decision. 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:38.000 As long as it's coming from you so like, I said, I don't think that this is a bad thing by any means, like I said, there's a just to clarify. 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:47.000 There's a difference between a food preference and a food rule, a food rule of saying, I, you know, can't eat the carbs. 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:48.000 That's too many carbs. I shouldn't have those, that is a fear-based decision, a decision where you say this is what I want. 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:57.000 This is what makes me feel my best. This is my choice. 00:15:57.000 --> 00:15:58.000 That's more of a preference that's more of like an empowered decision. 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:10.000 So there's a difference between the 2. And it's it can get confusing, because for one the same action could fit into 2 those categories for different people. 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:14.000 So the first person might think. Oh, you know, I shouldn't eat the carbs. 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:20.000 That would be food rule based. But if the person is saying, I don't really want the bun, I never a big bun person. 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:25.000 You guys, I would prefer so this could be an example. 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:28.000 Can you eat the fries and the bun? Add absolutely. 00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:31.000 But if you're like, I'm getting pretty full. Which one do, I? 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:32.000 What I prefer. It's okay to say you know what I'd prefer. The Fries. 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:39.000 Sometimes you want both sometimes you're like, I only have so much fullness left to. 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:43.000 This is what I want. So I'm gonna eat the meat. I'm gonna have the fries right. 00:16:43.000 --> 00:17:07.000 That's an absolutely fine choice. There's so much newuance, and I think bottom line with intuitive eating, or just anything in general, we have to go with what makes us feel our best, and is just the the the choice that makes us feel our best and that is coming from us I think that is just 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:12.000 such a such an important, important thing. Love it. Okay, guys, I am going to go ahead. 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:24.000 Let me see here, let's go to our participants. 00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:30.000 Okay, dokey. Alright guys, that is it for today's group coaching session. 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:40.000 I hope that you learn something. I hope that you had a you felt connected to us, and like I said, just thank you so much for joining me today. 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:43.000 You're so welcome, Brenda. Let me know. 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:44.000 I will be back next week with another session. So with that, you guys, I will see you next week. 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:54.000 You're so welcome, Brenda, you're so welcome. 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:55.000 Welcome, Shelley, you're so welcome, Karen. 00:17:55.000 --> 00:18:08.000 So I will talk to you all soon.