171. Group Coaching October 18th

Welcome to another SociEATy group coaching call! During these 45 minute calls as many of your submitted questions will be answered as possible. All questions will come from the group coaching call question submission form that is linked in the coaching + events tab of the The SociEATy membership site. If your question is not able to be answered or if you’d like more individualized support please put your name on the waitlist for 1:1 coaching! The SociEATy 1:1 Coaching ➡️ https://nofoodrules.co/1_1coaching Questions Covered on the Call 20:16 - I’m really struggling with distractions during eating and the time length of my meal at social events. 28:02 - When is a Food rule not really a rule and actually a preference? 33:14 - I've gotten into the habit of saving up calories until the end of the day. How do I get away from this? 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.000 I'm gonna go ahead and press record before I forget. There we go. Alright guys, I am opening the chat so I have that nice and open. 00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:13.000 If you are new and this is your first group coaching session, feel free to share the chat. Let us know. 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:20.000 You are in such good company. I recognize a lot of these names here. And we're gonna have a lot of fun today. 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:28.000 We're gonna have a good time chat through things. We're gonna go ahead and let Shelley in here and then we will get started. 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:31.000 Welcome. Like I said, if you are new, share in the chat. Stacey excited to be here. This is your first session. 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:40.000 Well, welcome. Yes, we will wish her well. I feel like everyone I know is getting sick, you guys. 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:51.000 It's getting to that time of the year. We're actually one of the things I want to talk about on this call before we get into some of the questions that you guys submitted is seasons are changing. 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:56.000 And that means a lot of other things in our lives might be changing. So we're gonna chat about that a little bit. 00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:05.000 And we're gonna go ahead and let Kelly in here. Welcome, Jennifer. Glad to see you on your first call today. 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:09.000 And anyone who's watching the record or listening to the recording of this, if you ever cannot make it to these sessions live. 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:19.000 We always upload the audio so you can listen back to them. You can submit questions. We always work off the questions that are submitted. 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:29.000 So we have a handful of those to answer today. You can submit them throughout the week. The Facebook group is fabulous for getting questions answered from a variety of people. 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:36.000 But if there's ever anything that you want Nicole or I to answer on these calls. Submit it during the week. 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:45.000 It's right inside the membership site under the coaching and events tab and we'll be sure to answer them on these calls for you. 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:51.000 Okay, guys, let's go ahead and get started. The first thing that I want to do today is a little bit of a reflection. 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:58.000 We do this all the time. Talk about what I like to call your 2 W's, your win and your working on from this past week. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:06.000 So I want you to think about this past week whether you are brand spanking new, whether you have been working on this for a while. 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.000 And I want you to think about something that went first well this past week and it can be food related. 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:23.000 Maybe this is maybe what went well for you is hey I'm on this call and this is you know me taking a positive step in the right direction that is definitely a win. 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:30.000 Rochelle can in hot today. I finished stage 5 yesterday. Girlfriend, I'm so glad to hear that, Richelle. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:41.000 I have to say you have just been so inspiring, like you're just drive and motivation. I just I think it's so inspiring. 00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:49.000 Every single person and I think you truly show that it's gonna take some work, especially the people who are new here. 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:58.000 Jennifer Stacey, if this is your first call, you know, it it it's going to take effort, we, but we're here for you every step of the way. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:04.000 I mean, think about it. We are unlearning day of diet culture many times here. So it's going to take some time, but just follow the steps that we have laid out for you. 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:19.000 You're in good hands. And this community will help you every single step of the way it truly is the best community I could ever ever imagined, right? 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:26.000 Absolutely love it. So I want you to think about the wind from the past week. And this could be something I see Erica says I got back into walking. 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:39.000 On my walking pad during work, I have I love my walking pad you guys. It's just a nice way to kinda like break up the day. 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:46.000 And for me, I notice like it just kind of like refocuses me so I love that. It could be food related. 00:03:46.000 --> 00:04:04.000 It might not be food related. Sometimes our winds aren't. Maybe it's I was able to set boundaries or I was able to you know carve out some time to recharge my own battery all of those things are going to play into how we react. 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:15.000 And the food choices that we make. So thinking about it more when we think about our winds more holistically from the past week of what is something positive that's stuck out to me. 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:21.000 Sometimes yes, that's food related since that's what we're working on. But also sometimes it's not. 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:33.000 So we want to always think about our winds because that's what's gonna propel us forward you guys like Rochelle said she said I I think results every day is not perfect, but it's worth the work. 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:38.000 There's going to be days where it's going to be like, oh my gosh, right? 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:40.000 Especially when with the new year coming up or maybe in the summertime when a lot of people are talking about diets. 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:52.000 It can feel tough so remembering those small steps that you've made, they're gonna have a profound impact and that's a psychological tactic of when we focus more on what one went well, we tend to want to do more of that. 00:04:52.000 --> 00:05:13.000 So then we're going to want to, okay, wow, so if for example, when we say, wow, you know, I walked on my walking pad today and it felt good taking a moment to recognize that is going to allow you to want to do that more. 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:20.000 Stacy said added a couple new books to my podcast list. Absolutely love it. Lazy genius. 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:27.000 Oh, she's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. Love her. Bringing, feeling more at peace in my body. Absolutely love it. 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:38.000 You guys are amazing. So just a reminder, get yourself in the habit of just whether it's on these calls or it's on your own just thinking about something positive from the past week. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:45.000 And then we're going to flip the script and we're going to ask ourselves, what didn't go so well this past week. 00:05:45.000 --> 00:06:00.000 Okay, Jennifer, love that joining this call is a great step for you. And I want to be clear whenever we think about what went well, we don't want to do this from like a oh I was so that was just like so not good like I shouldn't do that anymore. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:08.000 The reason we look back on things that didn't go well and you might have a variety of things that didn't go well. 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:18.000 We all have those weeks. But Asking ourselves, what is the thing that sticks out to me the most from this past week that didn't feel good or that didn't go well. 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:27.000 For me, last week I did not get a lot of sleep. I did not get a lot of sleep and that is something that being able to look back on that and recognize that, I am able to make adjustments. 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:41.000 This week to allow myself to Ajust for that right to allow myself to make changes and then that's gonna allow me to feel better. 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:50.000 Sometimes we Want to avoid thinking about the things that didn't feel good, right? And there's a difference. 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:58.000 I want to be clear, there's a difference between ruminating and beating ourselves up over something that didn't go well and there's also a difference between reflecting on it and learning from it. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:16.000 So for example, If you were to have E and past fullness, right? Maybe you, I don't know, went out to dinner or something and you're like, oh my gosh, I, you know, got home and I just felt so full and I just, you know, felt upset that myself. 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:31.000 We don't wanna just say it's fine, move on, move on. Yes, we want to move on, but we want to take a moment to think about that situation and I understand this can feel uncomfortable but it is such an important step and the more that you practice this the easier it will get. 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:32.000 To ask ourselves, why did that happen, right? What can I do next time to prevent that from happening in the future? 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:40.000 We're just taking a second to reflect so that we can learn from it, then move on, right? 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:53.000 So for me, again, realizing Okay, you know what? I really need to look at my work schedule, figure some things out. 00:07:53.000 --> 00:08:05.000 How can I adjust? What can I take off my plate to allow me to sleep better? Because I noticed my hunger at fullness queues were all thrown off, you guys all thrown off and that's something we're going to talk about in a minute. 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:09.000 And it didn't feel good, right? It didn't feel that plus I was freaking tired. 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:18.000 So taking a moment to think about those things is great. So to get your, your brains going, Stacy says what she's working on is finding my food rules. 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:25.000 I'm one of those that felt I didn't have many, at least not obvious ones. Yes, the sneakiest one. 00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:43.000 There's a difference between physical food rules where we do and do not allow ourselves to eat. And then there's those sneaky little mental food rules where we deem something as good or bad, where we deem something as good or bad, probably the most common mental food rule, where we deem something as good or bad, probably the most common mental food rule, and that's what I call the morality food rule, right? 00:08:43.000 --> 00:08:49.000 We're putting moral to it and Well, many people think like, oh, that's like, but I'm allowing myself to eat it. 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:58.000 I'm giving myself permission when we have that tie to it, we still are going to be drawn to eat that food even more. 00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:13.000 There's one very, very kind of like hallmark study that had been done on dieters versus non dieters drinking a milkshake and simply the act of thinking even though you're allowing yourself simply the act of thinking this milkshake is bad. 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:24.000 I shouldn't have it makes you want to drink more of it. So I love that you're focusing on those mental food rules and the question that I get is, how do I break those from already allowing myself, it's the same process that we're going to go through in the society. 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:35.000 When you get to that stage is the habituation. Habituation is essentially exposure therapy. Right? 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:49.000 So let's go with that milkshake. If someone were to say, well, I'd let myself drink milkshakes, this might be something where, okay, well we want to continue to allow ourselves to have those milk shakes, this might be something where, okay, well we want to continue to allow ourselves to have those milkshakes and do some self-talk at the same time. 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:54.000 Now this does not mean that you have to, you know, drink a milkshake every single day for ever. 00:09:54.000 --> 00:10:08.000 This could be something where maybe you, you know, say, okay, you know what we're gonna have a, you know, weekly milkshake run and then maybe you it's not necessarily the same let's be real second day milkshakes after they've been in the freezer are just not the same. 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:15.000 But allowing yourself to have that repeated exposure to it. And having that kind of in your freezer to take out when you, you know, have it a few times a day. 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:26.000 Can just really help with that. So Absolutely love that. Richelle says there was a couple of days I didn't eat enough due to stress. 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:35.000 I'm working on getting my stress level down so I can get back to my regular hunger and fullness cues and having small meals every few hours to make sure I feel myself for shell. 00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:40.000 I feel like we're in the same boat girlfriend that is exactly what I was and I am not someone. 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:51.000 I am not someone who ever really lacks hunger queues. So it really took me by surprise last week and that was my sign of, okay, I think we need to focus on sleep here because I felt the same way. 00:10:51.000 --> 00:11:00.000 And it's just being able to acknowledge that without, you know, any moral judgments and just saying, okay, I understand why this is happening. 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:11.000 Now I can make adjustments to help myself feel better. Erica says working on body image. I've made some weights and starting the program and, and uncomfortable in my body. 00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:22.000 I'm working on letting go of the idea that I need to lose weight. Love this goal and I always say this is actually what I do on challenging body images. 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:31.000 I ask myself, I say, Am I feeling bad in my body? Meaning. I am not feeling good. 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:38.000 Like I am not honoring my hunger and fullness cues. The food choices that I'm making don't make me feel good. 00:11:38.000 --> 00:11:46.000 Or is it that I'm feeling bad about my body? Because that's gonna direct you of what you're gonna want to work on. 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.000 If it is, I am not fueling my body in a way that feels good. We might want to make some tweaks there, right? 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:58.000 Let me, let me think about the foods that I'm choosing. And what about them? Do I like? 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:05.000 What would help me feel better? Maybe moving my body would help thinking about what would make me feel better. 00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:09.000 But if the answer is I feel like I'm honoring my hunger and phoneless queues. 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:28.000 I feel like I'm making choices that fuel me. But I'm just still feeling uncomfortable. That might be More of the body image side of thing that needs work so just a small differentiator there that can be helpful is am I feeling bad in my body like physically bad and I need to make some tweaks? 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:33.000 Or is it that I'm feeling bad about my body that can kind of help direct a little bit? 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:39.000 And Katrina says what I'm working on is letting the fitness tracker decide how I feel. 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:45.000 I want to be able to breast when I feel like resting or moving when I feel like it. I, everyone is different. 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:52.000 Let's talk about fitness records for a hot second. Everyone is different when it comes to fitness trackers. 00:12:52.000 --> 00:13:02.000 I personally choose not to wear one. Some people can feel like it's just gentle and, you know, maybe they get a reminder every, you know, few hours to get up and, you know, move their body. 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:16.000 Some people enjoy that. But if you are finding that it is, which it sounds like here, letting the fitness tracker decide how I feel, what I would recommend doing ideally is taking a vacation from it, just taking it off. 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:25.000 But a simple step that you could take to get there, some people feel like, okay, cool. I'm gonna just, you know, go cold turkey and take it off. 00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:28.000 That can be hard for some people. So what you can do is say I am going to just take this fitness tracker off for a few hours during the day. 00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:42.000 Sometimes that can feel like a more comfortable step in the right direction. So that could be something to look into. 00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:52.000 And then once you start to do that and you realize, well, this data is kind of skewed anyway, that can help you tune into your body versus letting that kind of dictate that. 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:56.000 Great you guys, you guys have, you did this reflection so, so well. I'm so, so inspired by you guys and we all have things to work on. 00:13:56.000 --> 00:14:07.000 Things to adjust. Absolutely love it. And we did it without judgment, not getting down on ourselves. You got it. 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:15.000 Okay, the next thing that I want to chat about is kind of like I said, the changing of seasons here. 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:41.000 So I always like to just address one kind of topic that's been on my mind or that we've been seeing in the Facebook group and Also kinda like we talked about I feel like a lot of people are starting to we're getting into the cooler months people are starting to get sick and I just want to kind of take a moment to address how our food and our eating habits and our body image are all in influenced also 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:45.000 by what's going on around us. So taking a second today to do a little bit of a reflection on a couple things. 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:53.000 Where, how your lifestyle currently is, could be helpful. Are you in a time where it's super busy? 00:14:53.000 --> 00:15:09.000 Are you in a time where you feel stressed or overwhelmed just being able to acknowledge that can be very, just being able to acknowledge that can be very, very helpful. Just being able to acknowledge that can be very, very helpful, right? 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:15.000 Because it can help you understand what you need. Just being able to acknowledge that can be very, very helpful, right? Because it can help you understand what you need. 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:22.000 For example, if you busy. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm very stressed. You want to ask yourself, okay, knowing this What adjustments can I make? 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:36.000 Maybe it is, you know what, even though I would love to try, this is a real example for me, even though I have all these recipes that I want to try, I just have to realize that right now I don't have that. 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:41.000 Kate, I don't have that bandwidth, right? And allowing myself to say, You know what? 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:45.000 Some of my meals are just gonna kinda be like, man, they're not gonna be mind blowing. 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:53.000 They're not gonna be amazing and that's okay, right? This is a circumstance of the situation that I'm in. 00:15:53.000 --> 00:16:01.000 But then also adjusting to that. It's like, okay, even though they might not be delicious, how can I accommodate for my busy schedule? 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:12.000 Maybe it's getting just a simple new sauce, right? It doesn't have to be anything mind-blowing so you can still have some fun with it, but it's adapting your behaviors. 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:20.000 And what you need in that moment to your current situation. So that's one reason we want to just kind of take in inventory of what's going on. 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:35.000 The second reason that we want to consider what's going on around us and our, you know, current lifestyle is for how that can play a role in our food choices and body image. 00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:46.000 So, So for food choices, it could be if I know I'm entering a period of stress, then I know I might be more tempted to eat for comfort, right? 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:52.000 Or maybe for some people, I might be more tempted to restrict and diet because I know that I'm seeking some sort of a control in the time where I feel out of control. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:17:10.000 And this doesn't even have to be with just you know busy seasons in our lives and our schedules it could be I have an event coming up and I know that is causing me, you know. 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:18.000 Influence on some of my choices or that's making me stressed. It can be kind of those isolated things that are looming. 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:27.000 So looking at where we're at now and understanding how that might play a role, but also looking into the future and thinking about like what's upcoming. 00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:34.000 Because A, that looming might play a role in to how you're feeling about food right now, but also being able to plan for it, right? 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:44.000 And I say that because we're entering the holiday season. I can't even believe I'm saying that you guys, but I was at the dentist this morning and she was saying like it's October, the eighteenth and I was like, we are over halfway through October. 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:53.000 Like I genuinely don't know how that happened. Thanksgiving is literally like a month away, like how is that happening? 00:17:53.000 --> 00:18:12.000 They Halloween is coming up. So just being aware of some of those things, are you starting to feel like the nervous about the Halloween candy coming up, how you're going to navigate that, just being able to have the bring those into our awareness can help us actually navigate. 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:24.000 Through them so much more. Another thing, reason why I say to think about this is because of something called embodiment. 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:37.000 Now we talk about this in the videos, but this concept. It rings through every time when we have things that are going on in our lives, whether it's, you know, stress. 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:55.000 I say this also because the holidays are coming up. That's typically a very Also emotionally charged time for a lot of people is sometimes when things are tough, we're dealing with tough emotions, we can kind of project that onto our bodies. 00:18:55.000 --> 00:19:12.000 So essentially we use our bodies as like a scapegoat for our emotions. So if you are struggling specifically with like body image or food, it could be either of them asking ourselves what else is going on in my life? 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:25.000 Is there anything that is triggering this, right? It's such an important thing to make sure that we're also focusing on actually working through those things and not just focusing on, okay, I gotta work on body image. 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:27.000 You gotta work on body. And you gotta work on body image. Yes, we want to do that. 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:38.000 But if we never address why body images worsening, a lot of times body image, like I said, is part of that embodiment where we project our feelings and thoughts onto our body because we feel it's something we can control. 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:49.000 It's feel we feel like it's something that we can fix, right? So a lot of times we subconsciously do this. 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:53.000 So just kind of one thing to be a aware of as we navigate all of the holidays that are coming up. 00:19:53.000 --> 00:20:08.000 And likely a lot of different changes in our schedules, emotions, and all of those things. So hope that was helpful, nice little pep talk for the day if you have any thoughts or comments at all feel free to throw them in the chat. 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:16.000 But with that you guys will go ahead and get into our questions. We had a few submitted today. 00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:36.000 So I will go ahead and pop those onto the screen here. Okay, so this first one is says I'm let me read the whole thing I have the little synopsis here it says I'm really struggling with distractions during eating and the length of my meals at social events. 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:42.000 I have a bad habit of scrolling on my phone or watching TV during meals and I know this isn't good for me, but I'm curious if you have any advice on how to improve here. 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:51.000 Since this is something that is very comforting to me. This question, let's start with that part of it. 00:20:51.000 --> 00:21:05.000 So with the distraction part of things. I want you to think about I want to challenge. I want to challenge the idea that you said I know this isn't good for me. 00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:17.000 Is it not good for you or do you think it should feel that way, right? Whenever we're drawn to do something, it's important to remember that that thing is filling a need. 00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:28.000 So I would ask yourself, what need is the distraction during meal times filling, right? And there is no right or wrong answer to this. 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:44.000 For some people being drawn to distraction during meal time is because they feel sometimes when we feel guilty eating food we if we distract ourselves from that then we don't have to feel those feelings of guilt, right? 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:50.000 Is it that your meals are not enjoyable enough, right? You actually don't enjoy the things that you're eating. 00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:51.000 So for that instance, maybe it's okay, what can I do to make the actual eating process more enjoyable? 00:21:51.000 --> 00:22:07.000 Maybe I sit in a new spot, sit outside if you're able and their son. Maybe I add a yummy sauce to it or I plate my food in a way that feels creative and more enjoyable. 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:18.000 So just kinda noodle a little bit on what is this serving because obviously it's there's somewhere way that it's not bad because it's fulfilling a need for you. 00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:28.000 We just want to noodle on what that need is a little bit. And then ask yourself, I would then ask, okay, so if you. 00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:35.000 Do you have a desire to eat without distractions and if so why? And if not, why not? 00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:44.000 Just kind of thinking through that a little bit. Is it enjoyable for you and again just kind of thinking about why and we're doing all of this non-judgmentally. 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:57.000 And then what if, what if we tried an experiment and we said I am going to see what it feels like to eat a meal without distractions. 00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:09.000 I can if I want to if you don't want to do an experiment that's okay you don't have to but if you did want to experiment you could say you know I'm going to but if you did want to experiment you could say you know I'm gonna see how this feels I'm gonna see how this feels I'm gonna pair how this feels I'm gonna pair compare and contrast it to eating 00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:10.000 with distractions which ones did I compare and contrast it to eating with distractions which ones did I like more and contrast it to eating with distractions? Which ones did I like more? 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:22.000 And taking some of the finite, I should do this. Shouldn't do that and putting yourself back in control. 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:30.000 Can have a profound psychological impact. So that would be my thoughts on that. Your second part about the length of your meals. 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:39.000 It says, I also feel very distracted at social events during the meal because I naturally eat very slow due to jaw issues in my younger years. 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:44.000 People have made fun of me for eating slow in the past and I would just stop and be hungry later. 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:45.000 I'm better about not letting that get to me, but it's hard to want to keep eating. 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:53.000 When everyone leaves the table. This is especially an issue at weddings when they take their plates away at 15 to 20 min to clear the dance floor. 00:23:53.000 --> 00:24:07.000 I don't want to be a hermit about eating food, but it seems like I have to eat by myself in a corner in order to actually feel my hunger and fullness cues accurately and be able to eat at my slow speed. 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:26.000 So I think that I love how you said this go back to the jaw issues that I had as a kid and I love that you said that you are working on this and it doesn't get to you as much anymore. 00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:49.000 The thing to remember is that sometimes we just have to give our body fuel. So there might be instances where We would like to take a certain amount of time, but we just might not be able to write case I had a day on Monday where I literally had to shovel a sandwich into my mouth in order to get lodged. 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:57.000 It was not an enjoyable experience. It was not my preferred. I was standing up like it was it was the least mindful thing ever. 00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:11.000 But my other option was to not give my body the nourishment that it needs, right? So just kind of thinking about is there any flexibility with sometimes, you know, with our eating speed that we could have understanding that not every meal is going to be delicious. 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:25.000 One thing I wonder, and I'm not saying this is the case, but are we potentially overthinking in overanalyzing our hunger and fullness cues and that is causing our meals to extend for a longer period of time. 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:46.000 That's just something I always want to caution people and just to kind of be aware of is that we can sometimes hyper analyze to a place where it's, you know, not benefiting us where it's actually kind of that like over over analyzing our meals. 00:25:46.000 --> 00:26:00.000 So we just kind of want to lean into that because if it's the in order for me to accurately sense my hunger and fullness cues, again that might be am I over analyzing this. 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:11.000 And is there sometimes when I just have to eat to, you know, what I am able to, not saying you can't eat at the speed that you're doing. 00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:31.000 Some people are just also slow eaters and that's absolutely okay. But sometimes If our preferences impact the enjoyment and satisfaction of the experience of it. 00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:47.000 Sometimes we have to kind of almost kind of like weigh the pros and cons of it. Like you have a choice in this instance of do I want to kind of like adjust a little bit to more of the timeline with everyone so I can then get on the dance floor and enjoy time with them. 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:59.000 What overall is going to be more enjoyable to me? I also also want you to think about why that thing might be more enjoyable to you because It could be. 00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:11.000 That wanting to extend meals sometimes can be a food rule because we want to have like so much control over it versus truly trusting our bodies. 00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:23.000 So just a few things to think about that. Like I said, there is no right or wrong answer for it, but just a few things to noodle about a little bit. 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:42.000 With that and also sometimes I know you mentioned that your jaw issues were as a child if those have resolved kind of asking ourselves am I eating in this way simply because that's what I'm used to and what would it look like if I did have a meal, you know, faster? 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:52.000 How would that feel, right? Sometimes playing around with the speed could be helpful. Sometimes we just get used to what we've always done. 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:57.000 So just kind of doing a little bit of playing around with that might be, might be helpful. 00:27:57.000 --> 00:28:02.000 Okay, next question that we have here is this one of my favorite questions you guys. It's about food rules versus food preferences. 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:11.000 So it says, when is a food rule not really a food rule? Specifically, I'm thinking about this. 00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:16.000 I don't incorporate in my diet as much as I used to. Things like corn, peas, orange juice. 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:28.000 So I don't crave these items like I did once once upon a time, but I do recognize that while I don't cut them out, I don't embrace them as much from the points. 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:44.000 Counting era when they were quote unquote bad. I currently have no issue enjoying some corn on the cob seasonally or putting some OJ in a smoothie for flavor, but I will also add coconut water with the intent of not overdoing it on the Sugary OJ. 00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:53.000 I have started breaking, I haven't started breaking food, Rose yet and wanted to consider if this example is worth the headspace upfront or just something to etc. Love this question. 00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:58.000 Okay guys. So there is a difference between a food role and a food preference. The biggest difference is that a food rule, you would have guilt stress or anxiety when you broke it. 00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:12.000 So for example, let's take corn. So if you used to avoid corn because it had, you know, a certain number of points. 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:23.000 And if you were to eat corn today or be presented with a meal that had cord in it, would you feel like, okay, like that's a lot of points or whatever it is, I don't want to eat that. 00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:25.000 Or would you just be like, gourds not my favorite food, but I'll eat it. 00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:41.000 If it would be guilt stress or anxiety inducing, that's likely a signal of a food rule and if it's just like and that's a bummer that's likely a food preference and sometimes one thing to be aware of is food preferences can actually be our food rules can be masked as preferences. 00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:57.000 So for example, if you have come from a history of let's say, will you this example, Weight Watchers, I've been counting points, right? 00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:06.000 And you say, I don't really like corn, but you haven't allowed yourself to have corn and goodness knows how long. 00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:18.000 It's likely that that could potentially be a food rule. Not a food preference. We want to expose ourselves to the food to truly know and to gain some insight into it. 00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:27.000 It sounds to me from this situation like Your past diets have influenced your preferences and that is not wrong. 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:34.000 That is not bad. That can just be something that happens. But it sounds like court just doesn't do it for you. 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:38.000 You're just not a corn kind of girly. That's okay, right? But it does, I don't get the sense that with the corn there's like guilt stressor anxiety. 00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:46.000 Now with the orange juice you do mention I'll put some coconut water in so I don't overdo it on the sugar. 00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:57.000 Just tapping into that one a little bit more. Again, let's say you were out of coconut water. 00:30:57.000 --> 00:31:08.000 What would you do? Would you be like, oh my gosh, like or if someone served you just a straight up glass of orange juice, would you be like Heck no, I can't drink that or would you be like? 00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:13.000 I don't really feel like I want that much sugar. Maybe that doesn't feel good too. 00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:21.000 Maybe it's too sweet. That would be a food preference, right? But if there's guilt stress or anxiety, that would be a food rule. 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:28.000 And this is where we have to be so honest with ourselves because I have lied to myself for so many years before where it's like, oh no, I just don't like XYZ thing. 00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:45.000 If that's the case, what I recommend is testing it, right? Seeing if that's actually the case, I for so long said, I just don't like white bread, or white buns. 00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.000 And the reality is. I just didn't have it allowed myself to have a white bun in so long. 00:31:47.000 --> 00:32:07.000 And what I did, it comes down to it, I was like. I'm fine with a white bun and a whole wheat bun so many of the times I do prefer to get a whole wheat button because I'm fine with either of them, right? 00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:34.000 I wouldn't feel goat s or anxiety over the white bread option, but I prefer to have a little why not right they're both satisfying to me might as well So there is a lot of nuance and if you guys have any questions on this throw us in the chat I hope I'm making myself nice and clear with this because I feel like so often yes, gentle nutrition absolutely I feel like this is such a 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:37.000 concept that a lot of people don't know. I think the mail's here if you can hear Theodore. 00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:59.000 A lot of people don't talk about, it's okay to have these preferences or to not be drawn to these things and I feel like what we see on social media is always picking the, you know, thing that you didn't use to allow yourself and when we think about it, if we do that, that is still just letting diet culture dictate our choices. 00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:10.000 We're now just doing the opposite, right? So I think that learning to navigate your own food preferences is truly how you find balance. 00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.000 So I love this question. Great, to ask. Okay, our last one here that was submitted and this is also a very very common one. 00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:30.000 It says I've gotten in the habit of saving up calories until the end of the day and I feel I need to wait until I'm ravenous and alone to eat something. 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:35.000 It makes me feel good and accomplished when I do this and like I've earned the chance to eat. 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:46.000 I do this because I'm afraid I will continue this habit if I eat more during the day. I also do this because I have more time to enjoy my food and watch TV since I'm a loan at night. 00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:55.000 I know I probably need to work on my brain rewiring, but I'm struggling with finding the desire to break this habit because of the feeling of accomplishment I get from it. 00:33:55.000 --> 00:34:05.000 Any advice? I thank you honestly answered a lot of your questions. So like we had talked about earlier, all of our habits or our questions. 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:07.000 So like we had talked about earlier, all of our habits or our behaviors. Serve a need. 00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:28.000 So you said I feel accomplished in this. And this is also kinda like. Resonates with me a lot because when I was being restrictive I felt like and we'll talk about both sides of the coin being restrictive and eating in excess. 00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:37.000 When I was restricted, I felt like it was something I felt like was accomplished. And this is like where our food rules are so much more psychological than we think. 00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:40.000 Sometimes it's like I felt like I was good at something today or I felt like I was in control of something today. 00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:49.000 So I think you being able to say like this is I feel like I accomplished something. We then wanted to take that and say, okay, you enjoy the feeling of being a accomplished. 00:34:49.000 --> 00:35:08.000 How else can we achieve that throughout our day, right? Or if you like the feeling of control, how else can we achieve that during the day without having our bodies take the hit. 00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:26.000 So one thing that's one thing to think about. And then another thing that comes to mind is you said I like the feeling it's it seems comforting to you at the end of the day to be able to have a large amount of food and to do so alone maybe at the end of the day. 00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:38.000 Are you really, again, what is what need is that fulfilling? Is that fulfilling like? I get time to just kind of feel comforted and to just check out from the day. 00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:46.000 How else could we achieve that? Maybe you take a hot shower at the end of the day that you have your alone time, you can use, you know, put some like, yummy smelling candles on, maybe you take a bath, maybe you cuddle up. 00:35:46.000 --> 00:36:00.000 And watch a TV show. You're getting some comfort, some distraction. Thinking again through what is this serving? 00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:16.000 How is a serving me and how else could I experiment? So then the last thing that I want to address here is how you say I'm worried that if I allow myself to eat this during the day, that I will continue to want to eat at night. 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:22.000 My question is, do we know that? Do we know that that's going to happen? Or is it just something that we are afraid of, right? 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:29.000 A lot of times we get so in our heads with things and we are scared of what could potentially happen. 00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:35.000 When we don't even know that's the case, right? I mean, how many times? 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:40.000 Let's be honest, guys, how many times have you had like a full-blown conversation with someone in your head. 00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:51.000 I'm gonna say this to them, then they're gonna say this to me, and we play out these scenarios that never actually happened because we've made them up in our minds, right? 00:36:51.000 --> 00:37:04.000 That could like be the case here. I think bottom line, the way to Overcom this is going to be to eat more during the day and not intentionally save up because otherwise It's going it the same cycle is going to keep happening. 00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:28.000 This is like a mini restrict binge cycle on a daily occurrence. So just being very aware of that and intentionally scheduling in meals earlier in the day because it is it's not even just a drive from a comfort standpoint it is at this point a biological drive like your body needs food so it's going to be driven so you can do all of the work that you want. 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:45.000 On what are some other ways that I can find comfort in the evening and not solely use food, but if you're not giving your body its biological needs throughout the day, you are still going to be driven to eat large amounts of food in the evening. 00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:46.000 So biggest takeaway from this is going to be to intentionally plan in those things earlier in the day. 00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:52.000 That's going to be step one and then everything else is going to fall into play from there. 00:37:52.000 --> 00:38:15.000 We always, always want to, I can't stress this enough, especially for new members here. We always want to address our, this is one of the biggest things that's different about the society than a lot of other programs out there is we want to make sure that we address our biological needs before we address more of the psychological things. 00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:20.000 So in that example, The biological need is at the end of day your body needs food, right? Your body needs the food, so it's gonna biologically drive you to eat the food. 00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:29.000 It is also likely at the same time psychologically driving you to eat the food because you had a rough day, you want comfort, right? 00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:41.000 But if we only focus on the psychological side of things, we're still gonna be drawn to do that habit because our bodies have a hierarchy of needs. 00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:48.000 So we can't really focus on the more psychological side of things until we make sure that we have our biological needs met. 00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:56.000 That's why in this program you learned to break your food rules after we work on hunger and fullness cues, right? Because think about it. 00:38:56.000 --> 00:39:02.000 If our food rule is around, let's say Halloween candy, right? And we say I can. 00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:11.000 I can allow myself to eat the Reese's pumpkins. Do you guys know they're coming out with a new, I haven't had a new shape like a skeleton. 00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:19.000 Fun fact. Any who, if you say like, I can eat the Reese's pumpkins, I can eat the, they do have so many different shapes. 00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:34.000 Shadows the white chocolate ones. I'm a big white chocolate girly But you can say I can eat this, but if we haven't gotten a hold of our hunger and fullness queues and properly nourished our body, of course we're not going to know how to stop eating. 00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:46.000 Of course, we're still going to feel out of control around them. So that is one of the biggest differentiators of this program is that making sure that you work in that stepwise way so that when you get to the psychological side of things, it can actually work, right? 00:39:46.000 --> 00:40:07.000 It's kind of like Think of your body like a car. Okay. In the biological side of things, in regaining your hunger at fullness cues is like taking it to the mechanic making sure that it works properly all the parts are working and the psychological side of things and you know breaking our food rules, feeling in control around food, it's kind of like the driver of the car. 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:13.000 You could have the best. Race car driver on the face of a planet, but if it's driving a car that doesn't actually function properly is probably not going to be a good situation, right? 00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:26.000 No matter how amazing the driver is. So I hope that makes sense, you guys, but. 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:51.000 Those are the questions that we had submitted this week. If you are new, if you are not new, I hope that you enjoyed this today if you're watching or listening to the replay I hope this was helpful for you and somebody I know Stacy I love that analogy too it's just it's kind of a newer a bug it explains it so perfectly right but I hope this is helpful for you today and just connecting 00:40:51.000 --> 00:41:11.000 with each other. I just think that, I mean, guys, we have people in this program on this call all from, you know, I'm just starting my journey to I've been here for a while now and that's where the secrets sauce is the more that you can engage with this community as often as you can, the more that you are going to get from it. 00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:18.000 And we are just here to support and cheer you on every. So I have goosebumps right now because I'm so excited for you guys. 00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:32.000 And I'm just so thankful that you took the time to either be on this call lie, listen to this call after it truly is going to make such an amazing difference in your journey and I can't wait to see you guys continue to go through it. 00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:37.000 But with that, I hope you guys have a lovely, lovely rest of your day. I'm gonna go check on whatever the heck the mailman dropped off that Theodore was so Perfect about Stacy, thank you for joining us. 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:48.000 I'll talk to you guys