168. Group Coaching September 27th

Welcome to another SociEATy group coaching call! During these 45 minute calls as many of your submitted questions will be answered as possible. All questions will come from the group coaching call question submission form that is linked in the coaching + events tab of the The SociEATy membership site. If your question is not able to be answered or if you’d like more individualized support please put your name on the waitlist for 1:1 coaching! The SociEATy 1:1 Coaching ➡️ https://nofoodrules.co/1_1coaching Questions Covered on the Call 12:22 - Is it OK to opt for the sugar-free or low calorie options when making food choices because I don't feel a pull to go for the full calorie option? 14:55 - I just wanted to ask if i should try to avoid animal fats to lower my cholesterol or take any medications or anything else? How should i deal with it? Any tips? Thank you! 17:35 - As I am still working through this, I noticed something else: when I have a particularly bad body image day or maybe several in a row, the thought of dieting sneeks into my mind. I try to reassure myself that I will not start dieting tomorrow, however my body tends to go to rebel mode meaning that I constantly want to binge on just about anything around me. What makes it even harder is that in these moments/phases I lose my hunger and fullness cues as well as my appetite for particular foods (since IE my body tends to tell me what it needs). So, I really don't know what to eat or when to stop. 23:05 - I’m on stage 3. I’ve been there for a while. I don’t feel like I can move on because I haven’t yet mastered my fullness and hunger cues. I don’t know how to feel move on from it. Ive been on it for at least 3 months … any tips ? Is this normal? 28:35 - One of my biggest binge triggers is when I'm alone and no one else is in the apartment. I feel like when other people are there, I feel restricted and have anxiety about eating, especially "unhealthy" foods. When they are not there, I often have a strong urge to eat everything, and quickly, because it doesn't happen very often and I don't know when they will be back. I really try not to restrict when they are there, and I've made some progress, but I still feel the anxiety a lot. 32:34 - I don't want to avoid the scale for the rest of my life, I want to make peace with it - is this possible? I would love to hear thoughts on this. 36:39 - Judgement from family during your Intuitive Eating Journey 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:29.000 We have any new anyone new on the call feel free to throw your name. Maybe where you're at and Include of eating process, maybe what state you live in or what area you live in if you're not in the US. 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:39.000 You can throw that in the chat. Just kind of introduce yourself a little bit. Before we get started. 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:49.000 But for anybody else who is returning member welcome back if you have not witness before on these calls, I'm Nicole. 00:00:49.000 --> 00:01:00.000 I'm a registered dietician. I work alongside Colin in the Society Facebook group as well as doing one-on-one coaching with members. 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:08.000 And. Yeah, I really just her right hand person when she needs someone to to kind of take over. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:12.000 Dietician duties for a little bit. So. If you, this is your first time seeing me, you'll see me way more in the Facebook group. 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:23.000 I'm always in there answering questions and finding support for anyone who needs it. But yeah, welcome. 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:28.000 Welcome, look, I'm over to see all these faces. And through something in the chat. 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:33.000 Hi, tuning in from Ky, North Carolina, been in the group for about one and a half months. 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:40.000 Love it. I'm interested to see where you're at your journey now. One thing to happen. 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:48.000 That's an exciting time to be. To be throughout your journey. Okay, so let's get started just to kind of get things rolling. 00:01:48.000 --> 00:02:02.000 We usually go into our wins and working ons first thing. So what that entails is first we're gonna share a win that we had over the past week. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:09.000 You can throw it in the chat so we can kind of go through them, help you celebrate. And kind of work our way through it. 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:19.000 So feel free to throw any ones you had in the past week into the chat and this is really just to highlight some things that are going really well on your journey and some things that you're proud of. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:29.000 You wanna celebrate and that you wanna share with us. So a win can be anything from You know, you try to new food or excuse me. 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:35.000 Maybe you talk to your family about intuitive meaning or about your journey or your struggles or something. 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:49.000 That's a huge win, even though I can feel intimidating or overwhelming that's a win because it's pushing you along in your journey and that's that's helping you to make progress and accepting your journey, which is such a wonderful thing. 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:57.000 So anything that you feel good about even if it's the tiniest little wind join a society posting for the first time in the Facebook group. 00:02:57.000 --> 00:03:06.000 Those are all Amazing wins. Richelle said her win is currently eating a Latinas pizza for lunch because it sounds good even though I usually tell myself I can only have them for dinner. 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:14.000 That's a really good win. And that's, that's it on, on working on our food rules, right? 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:28.000 That a food world they can only have a certain food for a specific meal is just that a food rule I love to see that you're working on in real time as we're talking about it. 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:43.000 Does it get any better than that? I love it so much. And as when she said I was going back to work and pushing back on some diet culture talk that I was immediately met with. 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:54.000 I love that. Sometimes just letting your intentions be known and just knowing that you're not, I'm not gonna be a part of this kind of talk in the workplace can be. 00:03:54.000 --> 00:04:08.000 Really empowering and it can just let people know I'm I'm not that first kind of chat I don't feel good about it and I don't want to be a part of it and that can really help in the future when people, when people know what you want to talk about and what you don't want to talk about. 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:14.000 Beautiful goal setting in a. Carolina had a win. Oh whoops, we're getting so many in here. 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:16.000 Scroll up. 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:22.000 Kind of a not happy when but I agree to do inpatient care for my ED to finally. 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:24.000 Tackle this head-on. Also continuing to listen to society recordings. Caroline, that is incredible. 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:46.000 So, so proud of you. That's not an easy thing to do to admit that you need that support can be tough So that's a really big win and it might not seem like a happy win right now, but your future self will absolutely thank you for this. 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:51.000 Erica says I ate a whole sandwich because I was famished after travelling all day on Sunday. 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:59.000 I usually only allow myself to have half and I enjoyed it and didn't feel guilty. Looking to you, Erica. 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:25.000 That's amazing. Even just that. That little behavior of recognizing that you need more food is huge as such a big win because not only are you recognizing that you need the more food but you're honoring that and you're telling your body you told me that I need this and I'm honoring that I'm giving it to you so that can build that trust with your body so it feels you know, you feel 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:33.000 more comfortable and you're more aware of what you need to those hunger and fullest cues are just going to get stronger and stronger from here on out. 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:41.000 Wonderful. You're in said I have been having great conversations with my family about intuitive eating. 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:53.000 Awesome. Including my history with disordered eating. This is one of my buys to stop the cycle in helping my girls to avoid the problems I've had with food and body issues. 00:05:53.000 --> 00:06:08.000 That's so amazing, and anytime I see a parent working on their relationship with food or You know, just trying to stop the cycle or just stop stopping your kids from hearing those messages. 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:15.000 I just feel like so proud of you and so empowered by you because It's not easy to stop the cycle. 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:24.000 It's not easy to let family members know how you make them feel or how they made you feel or You know how these things affected you. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:32.000 That's a really hard thing to do and I'm I'm so glad that you're doing it and you should be so so proud of yourself. 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:40.000 That's amazing. Alright, we're getting into our working on already. You're head again, Carolina. 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:47.000 So next step we will do our working on. Throw your working on in the chat. This is where we Try to find something that we want to work on in the next week. 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:57.000 This isn't to take ourselves apart. This isn't to, you know, focus on the negatives, but rather to. 00:06:57.000 --> 00:07:05.000 You know, think about things that we want to improve or work on moving forward. This doesn't have to be something huge. 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:14.000 I actually would recommend it being something small like a little bite size of a big go maybe. So instead of saying I'm going to. 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:22.000 I'm gonna start eating cookies every day or something like that. You can say I'm going to start my day off with having a bite of cookie. 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:32.000 I'm going to add cookie crumbles to the top of my yogurt tomorrow or something like that so it feels like and attainable goal and it doesn't feel overwhelming or scary. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:45.000 It really just helps you to make a plan and an attainable plan at that. So you feel good moving forward throughout your week and you know what you're going to be working on. 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:56.000 Wonderful, let's jump in. Caroline is working on is I've really, I've gotten really stressed about listening to my hungry and fullness views. 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:03.000 I went overboard and was striking every meal with hunger and fullness so I got overwhelmed. This week. 00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:12.000 Excuse me, I want to take it easier and not treat it like another rule slash diet. Maybe tracking my hues from one meal a day instead. 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:26.000 I love that and I'm so happy that you are able to recognize that, you know, it might be getting a little bit obsessive here and that it's healthy for you to take a step back and that you don't need to follow everything to a T for every single meal. 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:32.000 So I, this is amazing. Not a lesson of how it goes next week. 00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:39.000 Okay, Julia says being okay with being mentally satisfied with food even if my stomach doesn't feel full yet. 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:52.000 I sometimes get too physically full even when my mind has satiated priority eating more. Okay, I love hearing that you're honoring your body and you want to find that satisfaction. 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:55.000 The goal of every meal is to be full and satisfied. Satisfaction is more of like the mental aspect of our meals. 00:08:55.000 --> 00:09:04.000 So feeling like when you're satisfied, you're done with your meal, you don't really. 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:12.000 Feel the need to go back and get more, go back and get something else, you just feel good, you feel dumb, you feel dumb, you feel satisfied. 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:23.000 And then the fullness is more of the physical aspect of it. Meaning your stomach feels full, you know you're feeling those fullness queues and your body has gotten enough energy and nutrients. 00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:30.000 To hold you over. So you really want to focus on getting both of those for each meal and kind of finding your balance between each one. 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:36.000 And of course giving yourself grace along the way is it's not always easy to find that perfect balance. 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:47.000 So I love to hear it. You'll let us know how it goes. Working on it is not feeling guilty for missing Pilates recently due to my return to the office. 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:57.000 Excited to fit it in at least one class in the next 2 weeks. Clause brings me so much joy physically, mentally, but I'm struggling to do it all. 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:07.000 Every day right now an exercise had to fall. Off as I adjust. That's perfectly normal. I think this is something that I didn't really talked about enough. 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:21.000 When you know these transitions in life where we start something new we start a new job or you know we have a baby or we get married or we we we're just doing something different. 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:30.000 Our daily routine has changed a little bit. It can take a little bit of time to adjust. It doesn't mean you're never going to go to Pilates class ever again. 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:42.000 Or that you're making these unhealthy choices, it's just that you're trying to figure out how this is going to work into your life again and that's more than okay to just take the time and allow it to adjust on its own. 00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:50.000 Eric is working on is working on my body image. I've gained weight since starting this process and I feel uncomfortable in my body. 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:56.000 That's so common, Erica, and I love to see that you're working on your body image. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:59.000 If you need any support with that throughout this, feel free to throw it in the Facebook group or obviously back in here again. 00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:10.000 For next week but This is something that's probably going to be happening throughout your entire journey. It's very uncommon for a person to never have body. 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:25.000 Mage issues at all. So learning the tools to help with body image and help to kind of get you over that hump of just having. 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:33.000 That more positive relationship with your body on a daily basis versus kind of how it looks in the beginning. So I'd love to see this. 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:37.000 We're here to support you through all of it. 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:44.000 So I'm working on standing up to my mom who has moved in with us. She's constantly. 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:49.000 Commenting about everyone's eating choices. I submit a question about this, so I'm hoping my question will be addressed today. 00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:57.000 I saw that Karen, I think. Thank you might be the last one on the list. I'm gonna try to get, I'm definitely gonna try to get to that one. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:01.000 So with that being said, let's jump into the questions so we can get as many done as we possibly can. 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:08.000 We'll skip over the, the. The topic for today just to try to get all these questions in. 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:14.000 Okay. Let's get in. 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:22.000 So all these questions, okay. Oh, let me turn them on. 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:35.000 Perfect. Okay, our first question says Is it okay to opt for the sugar free or low calorie options when making food choices because I don't feel a poll to go for the full calorie option. 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:42.000 For example, I use sugar free sweetener in my coffee every morning because it's something I started during my dating days. 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:48.000 But I actually like the taste of it. I do sugar free sweetener and unsweetened almond slush oat milk and I look forward to it. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:53.000 Or when I make a sandwich on low calorie bread, I don't really think it tastes different from regular sandwich bread. 00:12:53.000 --> 00:12:59.000 Is that okay for me to do or is there a wrong to use low-carb types of options. 00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:17.000 Really great question and I think it's such a common misconception about intuitive eating that you know we just eat the full fat 4 calorie full, a common misconception about intuitive eating that, you know, we just eat the full fat, full calorie full, whatever I have something all the time just because that's what it is because it's not the quote unquote. 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:26.000 Option but in reality there's a very there's a very distinct difference between a food rule and a food preference. 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:33.000 So it really depends on how you see these foods. I love that you said you look forward to this coffee every morning. 00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:38.000 That's a really good indicator that's a food preference. You're actually enjoying it. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:45.000 And choosing the lower calorie sandwich, but if you really enjoy that bread, that's more than okay to choose that bread. 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:56.000 Something I would recommend though if you haven't tried the let the quote unquote. Regular versions of these foods, I would at least try them. 00:13:56.000 --> 00:14:08.000 A lot of times when we go a long time with only even these foods, It tends to just be like our normal routine and and it just tastes good because we haven't had the regular one in so long. 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:18.000 But really you can be having something that you enjoy much more on a daily basis or you can add these things in every now and again because they taste really good and it feels special. 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:30.000 So I would recommend trying those other options and of course it's okay to go back to your regular, your regular coffee and bread if you would like to. 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:51.000 So yes, it's absolutely okay. It's really just working on your mindset if you feel like scared to Try those other options or you feel guilty when you do have those other options in your diet then that's when we want to work on the food will aspect in your mentality around those foods. 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:55.000 Okay. 00:14:55.000 --> 00:15:09.000 Next question. I'm 18, my cholesterol levels are pretty high, but I know that this is a common thing among those who went through super restrictive dieting and losing a lot of weight and gaining it. 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:18.000 Even more back. I just wanted to ask if I should try to avoid animal fads to lower my cholesterol or take any medications or anything else. 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:24.000 How should I deal with it? Any tips? Thank you. With this one. 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:37.000 You're so right, restrictive eating a lot of like weight loss and then like the waking back in definitely affect your cholesterol number it can affect almost all your labs really. 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:46.000 It's It's just like kind of how our body is like adjusting and, it can affect your cholesterol levels for sure. 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:53.000 I wouldn't recommend a eliminating any of these foods from your diet that typically ends up backfiring. 00:15:53.000 --> 00:16:05.000 It usually makes you create a bit more. It makes you feel a bit more restricted. So you want those foods more and you end up feeling a bit out of control around the foods that you've eliminated. 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:16.000 So instead, I would recommend that you focus on things that you can add to your life, add to your diet and your movement routines that can help with this. 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:24.000 So that can look like maybe adding in more fruits and vegetables, adding in, fiber rich foods like whole grains. 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:33.000 And even even heart healthy fats adding those things in can really help to improve your cholesterol. 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:45.000 So focusing on those things in movement, of course, joyful movement, incorporating those into your your life can really help to make this not feel restrictive. 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:54.000 And help to make these changes sustainable. So with that being said, we also have a cholesterol workshop in the society. 00:16:54.000 --> 00:17:02.000 So if you go into the resource library and just type in cholesterol, the cholesterol workshop will pop right up. 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:12.000 It will show you how to incorporate these these aspects of nutrition to help lower your cholesterol, help you get that better cholesterol balance. 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:13.000 Without feeling restricted. So I think that's gonna be really, really helpful for you here. 00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:31.000 So definitely. Check that one out. Make sure everybody's. Muted here just to get the background. 00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:35.000 Next. 00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:47.000 Alright, next question. First of all, thank you for materials providing stage 2. It really helped me to improve my body image and made me aware of how often negative thought about my body is actually caused by something else. 00:17:47.000 --> 00:18:00.000 As I am still working through this, I notice something else. When I were particularly bad body image day, I'm gonna be several in a row, the thought of diving seeks, sneeze into my mind. 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:11.000 I try to reassure myself that I will not start dieting tomorrow, however my body tends to go to for Bell mode, meaning that I constantly want to binge on just about anything around me. 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:19.000 What makes it even harder is that in these moments or phases, I lose my congruent fullness cues as well as my appetite for particular foods. 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:25.000 Since IE, my body tends to tell me what it needs. So I already know. What to eat. 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:28.000 So I really don't know what to eat or when to stop. It would be great if you can give me some advice on how to deal with this. 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:44.000 Psychological as well as the practical side of the problem. Absolutely. So what this person is talking about is When we 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:56.000 When we stop dieting and we stop having that quote unquote control over You know, our body and our food, then when something else goes awry in our life or something, we feel like we're losing control in something else in our life. 00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:07.000 Our body, our weight, our food. Can be the low hanging fruit. It's the first thing we reach for when we want to gain that control back. 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:20.000 So this is really common to just go right into my body so I hate my body. And then start leaning toward dieting again when you start feeling emotional or out of control in other areas. 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:33.000 Of your life. So when you have these. These days are phases or moments where you're having those bad those bad funny image thoughts. 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:40.000 I would acknowledge them. Sit with it, ask yourself, where did this come from? 00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:47.000 What's going on in my life? How can I address the actual problem? Or issue or emotion. 00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:56.000 Instead of going directly for my body because when you have that thought and you say, I'm not going to go on a diet. 00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:12.000 That's still kind of keeping that idea in your head that dieting idea in your head and you still have the issue so you know that still is kind of perpetuating that dieting cycle so that might be why you're going into that rebel mode that you were talking about. 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:27.000 But it can also be your emotions if this could be emotional eating like you said something else is going on that's making you have these feelings about your body and those emotions can also be feeling. 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:39.000 Feeling out of control around food and not having these hunger and fullness cues. We know when we're emotional or stressed out or anxious, it can be a whole lot harder to feel those cues as well. 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:45.000 So checking in to see where is this all stemming from? What emotions am I having? How can I deal with this? 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:55.000 Without feeling out of control with food. So do I need to journal things out? Do I need to just go for a walk and get off some of this anxiety? 00:20:55.000 --> 00:21:01.000 Do I need to go outdoors or just take a bath or you know maybe make a list of things that's going to help. 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:16.000 I know listing things out always helps me to clean my mind. Really any kind of self-care behaviors that can help you to release that emotion and help you to feel like you're more in control around. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:24.000 Whatever it is that's going on in life. Because you're so right. These are all connected and it might even be more than what you're thinking to begin with. 00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:32.000 Because whatever is happening happening in life is causing the emotion, the emotion is probably causing the body image. 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:38.000 And then the body image and emotion together are probably causing you to feel out of control around food and losing that. 00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:55.000 Losing those body cues. So with that being said, when you're in these moments and you're feeling like they're lasting a while then I would recommend that you go back to those biological reconditioning guidelines. 00:21:55.000 --> 00:22:00.000 If you're still in stage 2 and you haven't been to biological reconditioning yet. 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:11.000 This is where we. Recommend that. You don't go longer than 3 to 6 h without eating. 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:20.000 And then you balance your meals with a carved fat and protein. So what this does is it makes sure that you're getting enough energy and nutrients that your body needs. 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:35.000 You know, to work well, work adequately and you're getting enough food so you aren't getting to that stage of hunger or needing that fuel that your body kind of goes out of control trying to get all the fuel that it needs at once. 00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:45.000 So you're adequately feeling your body with the energy and nutrients it needs so you have more control over the food that you're choosing to put into your body. 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:52.000 So I hope that was helpful. That is those are the steps that I would go through to really help you. 00:22:52.000 --> 00:23:05.000 Get through those moments of poor body image and emotional. Okay. Oops, sorry if I could change the question on that one. 00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:16.000 Alright, next question. I am on stage 3. I've been there for a while. I don't feel like I can move on because I haven't get mastered my fullness in hunger cues. 00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:21.000 This week I chose to break one my food rules. There was almond butter, that's great. 00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:33.000 And finishing the whole door and feeling horrible. I now understand why stage 3 comes before actually breaking food rules, but I feel stuck on stage 3 and I don't know how to feel, move on from it. 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:40.000 I've been on it for at least 3 months. Any tips? Is this normal? Yes, okay, this is absolutely normal. 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:53.000 Every journey is so different that it's really hard to put like a timeline on any of the stages, you know, we all join a society and join this journey at different times in life. 00:23:53.000 --> 00:24:07.000 In different times on our whole intuitive meeting journey so we're all in different places. But any amount of time that it takes you to get through a stage is absolutely normal. 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:23.000 I would. I would think about how long you've been dieting. Because if you really look back and think about all the diets you've been on and how many years you were in the restrictive mindset. 00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:28.000 That can kind of shed some light on how long it might take to. You know, work against that and all learn those things. 00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:40.000 Not that it's going to take 10 years or however many years, but If you've been guiding for let's say 10 years, it's not gonna happen in 3 months where you just stop thinking these things. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:53.000 It takes some time for our brain and our bodies to kind of catch up on what we feel is it's true now we don't have to lose weight we don't have to be a certain body size to be healthy. 00:24:53.000 --> 00:25:04.000 And dieting really isn't what works for us. So, you know, getting those things through to us and learning about those things and learning about our bodies, it all takes time and it's more than okay that's taking you. 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:11.000 You know, 3 months to get there. And those hunger and fullness can be so tricky. 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:13.000 He was so tricky. So I would recommend is just try to be as mindful as you possibly can. 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:20.000 Check in with yourself as much as you can. Okay. And give you a chance, give yourself a chance to feel those body cues as much as you can. 00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:42.000 Pay attention and honor those cues when you have them. So what I mean by that is Check in often throughout the day even if it's you know an hour 2 h 3 h after you need check in to see if you're feeling any signs of hunger. 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:52.000 And then honoring that. That's a big thing with this mindset shift is honoring when you feel those queues whenever possible. 00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:59.000 Of course, it's not always going to be feasible. There's always many times where we don't have access to food or whatever it might be. 00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:09.000 But whenever you start to feel those early signs of hunger and you honor that your body is going to recognize, okay, sent this cue and she knew what I needed. 00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:13.000 So that's a queue that I'm gonna keep on sending and she's gonna keep on recognizing. 00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:19.000 So that's a really, really great practice to have for hunger and then for fullness. 00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:29.000 It's really the same thing, but it's. While you're eating, check in frequently and checking to see how your body is feeling and any cues that I might be giving. 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:36.000 Even those really early signs of fullness that you're feeling can be acknowledged. You can acknowledge that's hunger. 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:39.000 And you can kind of move on accordingly, like do I need one more bite? Do I need 2, 3, 4 more bytes? 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:52.000 Am I gonna need a whole other helping after this? You know kind of try to gauge how much you need and really just pay attention and honor what your body is telling you. 00:26:52.000 --> 00:27:00.000 And I, and these things are going to start to come a whole lot more easily, the more that you do them and the more that. 00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:07.000 That you recognize and honor it, the easier it can be to read what your body is. Trying to tell you. 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:17.000 So. Yes, this is normal. And really just think about how long you've been kind of incorporating these things into your life, you know, like dieting aspect. 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:27.000 Type of things and then Kind of reversing that isn't just gonna happen in a few months. So give yourself a little grace this is very normal. 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:31.000 It just takes a little bit of time and encouragement and You need to be proud of yourself. You should be proud of how far you come. 00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:44.000 And just remember, you know, hunger is probably gonna come first, those hunger queues are gonna come back first and then a little while after that a fullness will probably start to tune in. 00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:51.000 Hunger is a little bit more biological so it's typically the first to return and then after while your fullness will come back too. 00:27:51.000 --> 00:28:03.000 And you don't have to be perfect. Before moving on. Of course we wanted to feel comfortable with these cues, going to know how to recognize and honor them, but you don't have to be perfectly recognizing and honoring them to move on to the next stage. 00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:12.000 We're never going to be perfect at eating exactly when we're hungry or stopping exactly when we're full every single time. 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:19.000 So just knowing when you feel comfortable enough to move on is gonna be key here. And if you have any question about that. 00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:25.000 Feel free to hit me up on the Facebook group I'm more than happy to to help you out there. 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:35.000 Alright, let's move on. Next question. 00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:43.000 Okay, I live with a lot of roommates and one of my biggest bench triggers is when I'm alone and no one else is in the apartment. 00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:50.000 I feel like when other people are there, I feel restricted and have anxiety about eating. Especially on healthy foods. 00:28:50.000 --> 00:29:01.000 Quota whole healthy foods. I know I should I shouldn't compare myself with them but they also don't eat a lot and eat very irregularly so that increases my feelings of shame when I eat. 00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:11.000 When they're not there, I often have a strong urge to eat everything and quickly because it doesn't happen very often and I don't know when they went back. 00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:18.000 Excuse me, I really try to not restrict when they when they are there and I've made some progress, but I still feel anxiety a lot. 00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:28.000 Any tips? Seems me, absolutely. This is very, very common and I absolutely feel you I was in this exact same situation when I was in college. 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:37.000 I had so much shame around eating in front of people and knowing what. 00:29:37.000 --> 00:30:05.000 Or having other people know what I was eating all the time. And I will say that a lot of times it seems like other people aren't eating very much or you might be eating more than them but Just as they probably don't know all that you are eating, you probably don't know all the instances that they're eating either. 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:13.000 If you are. We all have very different needs. You don't really know what their thought process is behind their food choices, just as they don't know yours. 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:20.000 So I would just keep that in mind. We don't always know what other people are going through, how they're feeling about their food. 00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:37.000 And their food choices, so. How's just another thing that consider. I would start by slowly introducing foods into when your roommates are there. 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:48.000 So when they're there, maybe have something small, something that you normally wouldn't have in their home, have a small piece of it or a little bit of something and have it in front of them. 00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:53.000 Make sure they see you eating it and work on your minds that work on those thoughts that are popping up. 00:30:53.000 --> 00:31:06.000 If you have those negative thoughts, chat back with them. Let them know that like you don't need to feel ashamed of eating you Eating what feels best for you is you taking care of yourself. 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:14.000 And only you can decide what that is for you. And really this thought work can start. 00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:19.000 Even when your roommates aren't there, when you're eating without your maids there. 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:25.000 That can also help. So when you're eating alone, remind yourself that I don't need to save this from when I'm home alone. 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:36.000 I can have this whenever I want it when I need it. And really just reiterating that over and over again each time you get those thoughts and feelings. 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:43.000 And really just giving yourself the option to eat those foods whenever no matter who's home or who can see you. 00:31:43.000 --> 00:32:04.000 Just giving yourself that full permission and working on that mindset is gonna be will help you to rewire your brain from you know feeling that stress and anxiety from eating in front of your roommates to Feeling comfortable and knowing that your food choices are what work best for you. 00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:11.000 Okay, okay, okay, next. I love this question. Okay. 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:17.000 So after a lifetime of weighing myself daily, I have not stuck on a skill in almost 2 months. 00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:22.000 That's amazing, huge win, a little humble bragging here. I'm digging it. 00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:34.000 Every day I resist the urge, but has led me to think deeper about this. Feels like I'd created a new role about not weighing it feels counterintuitive to what I'm trying to accomplish in the program. 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:38.000 I don't want to avoid the scale for the rest of my life. I want to make peace with it. 00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:46.000 Is this possible? I would love to hear thoughts on this. I like I said, I love this question because it's just like thinking deeper. 00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:55.000 It's thinking outside the box on why we're doing what we're doing. And that's so important for you to learn what's best for you. 00:32:55.000 --> 00:33:12.000 So first I would Ask yourself, why is it important for you to? See this number why is important for you to be able to be weighed Now, of course, this could be something in your life that you don't have all the control over. 00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:18.000 Sometimes at a doctor's office, no matter how much you ask to not be weighed or to not see the number. 00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:29.000 You just end up seeing it and that is a very valid reason to just want to be at peace. So that's very valid, but I would just. 00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:36.000 Make sure that deep down you aren't reaching for something that's going to cause you harm in the long run. 00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:48.000 Okay, so we typically Try to get rid of this skill, a special beginning of your journey because that number can be so 00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:58.000 That number can can get so obsessive and it can just be like one time that you see the number that can kind of send you back into that restrictive dieting mindset. 00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:02.000 And we don't want to like set you back in your progress. If we don't have to. 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:19.000 So With that being said, if you can honestly. Say that you just want to be a piece with you don't go to see it and not care about it and just not let it do anything to your day, it's absolutely possible. 00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:36.000 This I would just recognize this takes time. It takes a lot of time and it's gonna take a lot of mental work because it's especially if you have a past of this number affecting your mentality quite a bit. 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:44.000 So just like we said with the last question. It's going to be a lot of the brain rewiring from stage one, video 3. 00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:50.000 Where when you have these thoughts we're just retraining our mind to go somewhere else and we see them. 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:58.000 So when you see the number on the scale, you can. You don't talk back to those thoughts. 00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:08.000 Anything negative that comes up, you can remind yourself that this is this weight is on accurate depiction of my health or my worthiness. 00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:14.000 And this doesn't have to be triggering for me, but it's okay that it is. 00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:21.000 But you're gonna get through it and you can work on. You know, it just being more of a neutral number. 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:25.000 If you, if this is really important to you, it is possible, but I might just wait until you feel a little bit more. 00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:42.000 Secure in your body image if you're not quite there yet. I'm not sure where you're at in that piece of your journey, but I would encourage you to maybe wait until you feel comfortable in. 00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:47.000 You know your body image, not having a lot of poor body image, you're not having a lot of negative thoughts about your body. 00:35:47.000 --> 00:36:01.000 And then if you get on this skill, it can be a little bit easier to kind of talk to yourself through talk yourself through the situation of You know your body is a good body regardless of the number on the scale. 00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:06.000 You know that it you know it varies a lot and it has nothing to do with your health or worthiness. 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:07.000 So I love this question. I think it's so interesting. And of course everybody's gonna have different goals. 00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:18.000 If your goal is to never have to step on a scale again and never have to see the number again, that's totally valid too. 00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:25.000 But if you want to be able to see the number and be fine with it, that's absolutely fine. 00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:31.000 I think we can all have our own goals and and we can work with that. We can definitely help. 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:39.000 And if you need support with this, of course. We're here in the Facebook group or come right back here next week and we can talk through it again. 00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:52.000 Wonderful. Okay. Last question, we made it. Okay, last question, about 2 weeks after I join a society and my 70 six-year-old mom moved into her home. 00:36:52.000 --> 00:37:02.000 I not realize up until then how much she contributed to my disordered eating. She constantly makes comments when anyone in the feeling prepares or buys food. 00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:08.000 She asked, didn't we just eat or you're eating? Again, or she makes comments when we invite her out for ice cream. 00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:19.000 I'm not eating I've eaten enough today she parks herself in our living room when she's in full view of the kitchen so I never walk into the kitchen with without feeling her judgment. 00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:28.000 She's there from early in the morning until after I go to bed. I'm wondering how I will ever feel confident to break food rules like cookies for example. 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:39.000 Even cookies multiple times in one week without limits when her eyes are always watching. I've explained to her that I feel shame every time I walk into the house with groceries because of her comments. 00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:44.000 Quote unquote, you bought groceries again. She said, oh, I'm not judging. 00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:53.000 I won't be critical anymore. I just can't believe that this happened just as I started this journey because it has made It's just made it so much more difficult. 00:37:53.000 --> 00:38:04.000 She'll be moving out in January. I'm wondering if it could be more effective for me to wait to start the stage after she moves out or if I just push through it and try my best to avoid her seeing me eat. 00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:13.000 This all feels very disordered, needing to hide what I'm eating, but it's not a rule I'm putting on myself, it's just that I feel so judged all the time. 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:28.000 So this is. I mean this is, this is hard. This is really hard talking to anybody that is still in that diet culture mindset as you're working through this, especially someone who essentially sees all your food choices. 00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:34.000 This can be really really difficult. I wouldn't. I mean, I think this is really up to you and what you feel comfortable with. 00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:52.000 I wouldn't push off your intuitive eating journey altogether until your mom. Moves out but If you don't feel comfortable eating in front of her and you don't feel comfortable like talking to her or setting those boundaries. 00:38:52.000 --> 00:39:01.000 Then that's valid and you shouldn't have to feel that you need to eat a certain way or do this stage of the society. 00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:16.000 Because of that. But I will say if she's someone that you regularly have in your life that is going to see you eat sometimes, then it might be a good idea to have the conversation now and to let her know. 00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:22.000 About your journey. Let me know how you've struggled and what you're doing about now, how you're trying to help yourself. 00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:33.000 Sometimes it takes expressing expressing your feelings in your past and in how things are making you feel. To get someone to understand what you're doing. 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:42.000 And with that being said, she doesn't have to understand. She doesn't have to, you know, know what you're going through to know that she needs to respect your boundaries and to make you. 00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:50.000 Not feel uncomfortable in your own home. So if you feel comfortable setting those boundaries, I would absolutely recommend that. 00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:55.000 You know, she didn't have to participate in all the meals or snacks or ice cream outings, but You know, those are memories that she could be making with you. 00:39:55.000 --> 00:40:07.000 Those are You know, fun things that you could be doing together, but she's choosing to, you know, pass judgment instead of joining you or even just tagging along. 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:24.000 So it, it could help your relationship to have this conversation early on. And just learned that, you know, she doesn't have to participate, but you, she needs to respect your decision to know that you know what's best for you. 00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:32.000 And then of course if you have kids in the house or someone that you feel uncomfortable that she's talking to this way in front of. 00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:45.000 Can be a really good idea to chat with them about some things that she said and how you feel about it so they know that they don't have to feel judgment from you when they eat or when they buy food or whatever it might be. 00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:56.000 And of course we have the resource of. How to support a food rule student journey. And this resource comes from Colleen and she. 00:40:56.000 --> 00:41:08.000 Wrote she made this resource to give to your family members from her. It's her explaining the journey how they can best support you without judgment and how to make you feel the most comfortable as you work your way through this. 00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:14.000 If you think she would be open to reading it, it can be really, really helpful. And it helps you to. 00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:28.000 You know, not Have all that pressure on yourself because Colleen is saying it to her you registered dietician that you're working with Approves of what you're doing is she approves of your food choices and you making these decisions. 00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:38.000 And it's it's a lot easier to have that guidance going into chatting with a family member or friend or whoever it might be, instead of just going at it alone. 00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:51.000 And of course, if you have a significant other or someone else, you can ask them to go with you or come in in the conversation with you so you don't feel alone and that you know just gives you that little extra support too. 00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:59.000 So I hope that helps. That was our last question. Let me just. Make sure. 00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:08.000 Yeah, that was a very difficult situation. So I'm glad you asked for support. Through that, Good. 00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:14.000 I'm so glad. Okay, so thank you again. This was, these are really great questions this week. 00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:22.000 I'm so impressed with these questions. I'm always impressed you guys, especially in the Facebook group seeing everything, all your wins. 00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:26.000 All the things that you're going through and just working on is truly, inspiring. You guys are all rock stars. 00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:33.000 I'm proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. And this whole community is just amazing. 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:50.000 I will see you all next week. I'll see you on the Facebook group. Have an amazing week everyone.